YouWish

A recent report from Boston Consulting Group concluded that “Most women around the world are over-extended, over-worked, over-stressed and under-served by consumer providers. They want time leverage, more value and suppliers that specifically understand them.” 45 percent said they don’t have “enough time for me.”

I think we can all relate to this problem, but it does indeed seem to be true that women suffer more than men.

Why is that? 

Men can multitask and specifically in their working lives, but whether we like it or not men tend to be fairly hopeless at multitasking across their work, family and personal lives at the same time. Conversely women don’t have a choice. They have to multitask across all areas and are just bred differently to accept this. This means women invariably do have to carry the burden of more things than men. They do have to look after the home as well as the job. There are exceptions, but most men take much less responsibility for doing things outside their careers. We may not like it, but it’s a fact!

But what is more important is that we find solutions to help women deal with this issue rather than simply debate a subject that is discussed all to regularly. Increasingly women are setting up businesses that fit with their needs and their requirement to multitask. At You Wish we certainly believe that there is a need to win back some time and this is truer of women than men. That’s why the happiest customers we have tend to post several wishes at the same time, as they get more answers and more potential solutions in one, rather than seeking singular results in multiple places.

We want to hear more from women about how You Wish can help them specifically find more time for themselves and make more use of that time. We want to hear from service businesses that really value their customers and make a difference to their lives.

It may or may not be helpful to read Trendwatching’s new report on “Nowism” or why currency is the new currency”. 

This just celebrates the fact that our society wants everything immediately in real time. I am not sure that is always the answer, as sometimes it’s nicer to have some time out to reflect on what you want. Anyway let us know what you think. Let us help address the imbalance in people’s lives and particularly women’s lives

Every week this year my 8 year old daughter and I have been learning karate . She was originally drawn into it by the fashion element of the coloured belts but now really enjoys it and is pretty good. Indeed as she has now done 3 exams her confidence is growing with a positive impact on the rest of her life at home and at school.

Most of this is down to the great teaching of our Sensei at our Shotokan Karate Club in St. Albans but is is also down to the basic discipline of it.

But what about me? Well in truth it is harder for me because I am 38 years older than she is and fairly uncoordinated which makes it like me learning an S Club Seven dance routine each week. That said I also love it for much the same reasons and find it as relaxing, albeit safer, as hurtling around on my large mororcycle in recent years because it requires absolute concentration that is ultimately relaxing.

As importantly it allows me to challenge my own “circles of comfort” and do something new. So what about you?

When did you last choose to do something that you have never done before and force yourself to get on with it when neither business or home life required that you do it. Be brutal, be honest but be sure that positive thinking is fine but positive action is priceless – or £6 a lesson.

Cheers

Nick

If there is a god then, this year, he/she has surely decided to be very literal-minded indeed.  I wished I could have a short break – I was sick with swine flu for three weeks.

I wished not to hear another musical rehearsing for a little while, because for the previous three weeks I had two of them rehearsing in rooms neighbouring my home office – one downstairs, one next door – and the Council pitched up and gave us three days’ notice of some 19 weeks of ’street improvements’.

Among the bracing rhythms of the jackhammers, diggers and angle grinders I regained my appreciation of Sondheim and Lloyd Webber… but my wish for the */=+$?! Council to hurry up and finish their work went unheeded.  I was starting to feel like a character in a Terry Pratchett novel.

So I’ve been a touch cautious about wishing for things of late, except where it was something I could safely wish for on here without bringing down a dose of divine misinterpretation.  I was clearly not precise enough in my other wishes, but I have learned my lesson for the future.  I no longer wish for good weather, because that requires some subjective evaluation.  Instead I wish for a day of clear blue skies, bright sunshine, low humidity and zero precipitation, preferably with a temperature in the mid-seventies.  I’m pleased to report that this wish has thus far been met with divine indifference, so I must be doing something right.

If you think this is a little extreme, you’re probably right, but it’s nothing compared to one American man, who has a very clear wish of his own he would like to fulfil.  The Finding My Goddess web site could be described as a technical specification for the ideal woman the site’s owner, Mark, wishes to find.  It’s extraordinarily detailed, both about the goddess Mark is seeking, and the man himself – possibly more so than is necessary, as I’m sure most potential goddesses don’t need to know he’s a tantra master, for example.

I’ve been watching the site for the last few months, curious to see whether the goddess would be found and, as of September 3rd, it would appear the goddess has indeed been discovered living in Europe.  And yet…

While most of us would confess to having an ideal in mind when discussing a partner, we talk in terms of general traits – hair or eye colour, good sense of humour, level of educational attainment, common interests.  Likewise, whe we post a wish for a product or service on YouWish, we have some general characteristics in mind, certain criteria that need to be fulfilled.  But in most cases, we don’t define it down to the nth degree, not least because that’s closing off other opportunities.  It acknowledges we may not have things quite right, and that we’re open to alternate ways of achieving the same goal, perhaps with a better solution than we might originally have imagined.

So what happens now for Mark and his goddess?  While she apparently meets all his extensive criteria, he’s still soliciting back-up applications.  To date, all we on the outside can know is that she has ticked all the many boxes on his list.  But where’s the fun in that?  Where’s the spark?  I can’t help wondering whether the woman in question has found a lover or an employer, given the nature of the recruitment process.

If we are not open to be surprised, delighted, contradicted even, where is the joy in life?  Pleasure can be anticipated, and may indeed live up to expectations, but to rule out the spontaneity of attraction, whether it be to people, products or services, strikes me as terribly sad.

Fortunately, for the rest of us at least, the god of divine misinterpretation is there to make sure our best efforts to eliminate the unexpected are thwarted.  My swine flu resulted in my husband and toddler son only contracting mild versions of the illness instead of catching a nastier, mutated version later in the year, while I finally got some precious sleep.

The Council effectively closing our arts space down through noise pollution made us fear for our livelihood (and the roof over our heads) but it also allowed us much-needed time to upgrade the spaces and even take on a booking for Woody Allen to film here with Antonio Banderas, which has resulted in more enquiries for future projects.  Even Tower Hamlets Council were prepared to move their diggers elsewhere for the sake of that one week.

No matter how extensive Mark’s list, it can’t encompass the whole of any human being, and even the most detailed of specifications falls short of simple human nature and its ability to contradict both description and prediction.

So let’s wish Mark and his goddess every happiness, but with a friendly word of caution.  I know from his web page that he’s not a rock fan.  So he may not be familiar with a certain Rolling Stones lyric that he might wish to bear in mind: You can’t always get what you want but sometimes, you just might find… you get what you need.

My mother died 3 weeks ago. It was very unexpected.  I was sure that she would make it through the final 2 doses of chemotherapy and we would take her on holiday to Sicily, as we were planning. Yes she was fighting cancer, but she had successfully fought off the first part. It seemed such a certainty to me then. But sadly now it is all over. As my godmother said to me afterwards, becoming an orphan is never easy, whatever age you are. How right that is.

My mother was a fighter. She was an Australian who had lived in many parts of the world. She had married my father here in England and after their divorce began a nomadic trail, living in different countries and trying out new places. She had lived many adventures and was afraid of nothing and no one. She had a full life. There were things that she wanted to do still but she had few regrets. She had successfully come to terms with everything that had passed in her life. And in the end she had settled back in France, near Cognac.

I know that when she died her biggest regret would have been not saying goodbye, because we had so many plans. We were also going to move her to Paris to be closer to her friends and family. She would have loved to have gone to Sicily again, once she was feeling stronger. She would have loved some wine, nice food and amusing conversation, as the sun settled over the sea. But actually she would have been content that she had tried most things and done most of what she had wanted.

She hadn’t taken up the Internet or email yet as she loved the phone, but I know that she loved the idea of You Wish. She loved the concept of getting other people to do the work for you, of getting stuff done, of living life to the full. She could see no reason for not doing what you wanted and no reason for carrying around a large to do list. There was no time like the present to say you wanted and try and get it. And that’s the thing. We all only have one life and yet we all have tons of things that we never get round to, especially for ourselves. Why wait any longer. Now’s the time to post what services you want that will make your life better or more enjoyable. Is it someone to do your garden or is it a programme to get you fitter and healthier. Whatever is it my mother would recommend you crack on as you never know how long you have and death and taxes come to us all!

Thanks

Chris