YouWish

With all this thought of holidays, I’ve inevitably come to the conclusion that I would like to tone up and at least be able to wear some shorts this summer, even if I’m not up to a bikini.  Or even a one-piece, but I digress.  Cosmetic surgery is not an option for me as I simply think I’m too much of a wimp to handle the inevitable pain that comes after all the anaesthetics and ‘proper’ painkillers wear off.

There’s only one thing for it, people.  Diet and exercise.  Gulp.  Those who’ve met me will know I’m not being harsh if I describe myself as being built for comfort rather than speed.  I’m a big girl.  And I do like my food.  After all, that birthday cake didn’t eat itself.  So this is a slightly scary prospect.  

A couple of months ago I gave up my gym membership because I was too busy to get there, and the creche times they had no longer worked for me.  I miss going now, because I used to love the Pilates and Core classes, and had a fellow mum I’d meet up with and chat while we paced the treadmill together, while our sons played together under the watchful eyes of Fateha and Aisha.  But it was no good.  Something had to give and that was it.

Further down the line and I’m wondering what to do.  Jogging is a non-starter.  Not only would it ruin my knees, it makes my sciatica flare up and simply isn’t worth it.  Walking would be a start, but not enough.  I’ve looked for local Pilates and Core classes I could join in, assuming hubby was able to babysit, but I’m coming up empty-handed.

What do other busy people do about this?  Hell, what do other working mums do about this?  I’ve always shied away from the whole personal trainer or fitness instructor thing, but is it time to reconsider?  After all, they should be prepared to work when I can fit them in, I can choose the kind of activity I like, and they can both keep the process fresh and keep kicking me to make sure I don’t lose motivation.

The idea is not unappealing, but I’m not a starlet, and I’m not vastly rich, and I can’t help but find the very mention of the words ‘personal trainer’ conjures images from the 1980s of Madonna jogging in the park with her bodyguards and personal trainer.  In the absence of other ideas, I decided to ask a friend, who actually runs training courses for fitness instructors and personal trainers.  Apparently I’m not alone in my attitude.  

I was amazed to discover you can hire a PT for just £20 per hour, and that it can be just once a month, if I want, rather than needing to be three times a week every week.  Better yet, I might even be able to club together with a friend.  So.  Who fancies joining me?  Time to post another wish…

It has become difficult, recently, to read through any of the Sunday papers without there being an article about cosmetic surgery.  Whether it’s a story about a procedure nearly killing someone, or someone else relating how it completely turned their life around, or speculation on which public figures have or haven’t had something done to them, there is always something.  Whether it’s Katie Price, Kerry Katona, Ulrika Jonsson or Kylie, they’ve all been there and the press have been keen to comment.

But considering how long it’s been around, I find it surprising that there is still this need to treat it as a matter for debate.  Whether we want it ourselves or not, there are not only plenty of people out there willing to pay for it, but some extremely talented surgeons out there who can do the job well.

Is cosmetic surgery all about vanity?  In the case of some of the celebs- Cher being the most obvious – vanity must be a huge motivator.  While she may have a point about not yet wanting to retire and being forced into it were she to allow herself to look her real age, her recent efforts have been quite extreme.

The majority of cosmetic surgery in the UK, however, is not performed on celebrities.  At one end of the scale there is the removal of minor blemishes that made people self-conscious.  On the other end of the scale you get people having a combined breast reduction and tummy tuck.  In between there are boob jobs, Botox, face lifts, ribbon lifts, eye bag removal and lid lifts, liposuction, fillers, collagen injections and doubtless many more.

Should we really still be demonising cosmetic surgery?  I believe it’s time to wake up and accept what’s happening.  Men and women are going to continue to have the procedures, so surely it’s more important now to make sure that they can do so safely?  In the same way as Society finally ackowledged the existence of pre-marital sex and gave people condoms, is it not time to work out a way to help people find the right practitioner and find a way of eliminating the less scrupulous from the profession?

We do get wishes on YouWish from people who are looking for cosmetic surgery.  They’re coming here, for the most part, because it can be hard to work out who’s good, who’s bad, what’s a reasonable price and is there anyone someone could recommend.  Simple stuff, really, but because of the generally polarized views on the subject they can’t find clear, unbiased information to help them make a choice.  At times like these you realise that, whatever your reason for creating a tool and letting it loose on the public, it can – and occasionally will – take on a life of its own.  As a result of the wishes, we’ve attracted some truly professional providers.  Let’s hope it’s the start of someone more beautiful to themselves.

I have to admit, we’re not one of those families that really ‘does’ holidays.  Far from my father’s example of one summer holiday and one skiing holiday this year, we’ve not been on a proper, actual holiday since March 2004.  And even then we only went because my lovely Dad thought we really should have a honeymoon, since we had failed to do so some 9 months after we were married.  He and my stepmum simply booked us a long weekend in Budapest and told us when and where we were going, and left the rest to us.  It was bliss.

That’s not to say we haven’t taken some time off work, however.  We’ve been known to take the odd week at Christmas to go and see family in Cumbria, Kent and Gloucestershire, as well as the odd long weekend with the massed clans of in-laws, but we have done nothing that resembles a normal holiday where we go away, forget about work and just enjoy ourselves in a random location that is not related to family.

Of course, we both know this is a problem.  Mr Melanie did try to get us away on holiday to see friends in France this year by taking advantage of a Ryanair deal for extremely cheap tickets.  It was 2 days before we were due to leave that we both realised it simply wouldn’t be possible, for so many reasons, and we didn’t go.  So I looked at the schedule again and decided to at least block out a week where we would accept no commitments, in hopes we could then shut up shop for a week and get away somewhere.  

But where?  Neither of us likes very hot weather, which rules out the friends we were going to stay with near Perpignan.  We don’t like just lying around on a beach, but Harvey is a little too young to drag round museums and other tourist attractions, although I think he’d make an exception for Legoland and Chessington, or possibly Eurodisney.

There’s only one conclusion we’ve reached about our fast-approaching August holiday, and that’s that we haven’t a clue where we should even start looking, and neither of us has time to trawl the web for inspiration.  It’s time for me to put the power of YouWish to the test, I think, and see if there’s someone who can repeat Dad’s feat of five years ago.  Watch this space to see how we get on.

With all the media frenzy surrounding the apparent split of Katie Price and Peter André, I couldn’t help but be reminded of another celebrity bust-up (genuinely no pun intended) – that of Sylvester Stallone and Brigitte Nielsen.  Beyond being quite bonkers, la Nielsen is still known for her inflated boobs, which were bought for her by her then-doting hubby, Sly.

It led to one of the more bizarre arguments in divorce history, with Stallone’s lawyer arguing a case for recovering the implants he had so generously given her.  Rather like Shylock trying to claim his pound of flesh, only this time we were talking silicone.  I can’t help but think the bard would have been quite amused at the spectacle, actually.  Beyond the obvious question of what on earth Sly’d have done with the things once he’d got them – stress balls? travel pillow? – the judge decided that this kind of thing was not on and he lost that battle in the war that was their divorce.

But the Price/André matter seems to be of interest to more than the gossip-starved.  It turns out our man Peter was so in love he insisted on signing a pre-nup.  Now, it’s easy to insist on a pre-nup when you know it’s not legally binding, and I’m sure Katie can afford the £6m if the newspaper estimates of her fortune are correct.  So far so boring.  

Yet if this does lead to a divorce and is not, as some have suggested, just another publicity stunt, then Katie and Peter may actually end up setting legal precedent.  If André decides to challenge the pre-nup and go for a bigger settlement, Price may try to enforce the document and, if successful, would establish the legal validity of pre-nuptial agreements in this country.

I know a number of my lawyer friends are watching this case closely.  However much we may love to hate the prevailing celeb culture, though, this is one that could affect a great many of us, moving forward.  Who knew?