YouWish

With all the media frenzy surrounding the apparent split of Katie Price and Peter André, I couldn’t help but be reminded of another celebrity bust-up (genuinely no pun intended) – that of Sylvester Stallone and Brigitte Nielsen.  Beyond being quite bonkers, la Nielsen is still known for her inflated boobs, which were bought for her by her then-doting hubby, Sly.

It led to one of the more bizarre arguments in divorce history, with Stallone’s lawyer arguing a case for recovering the implants he had so generously given her.  Rather like Shylock trying to claim his pound of flesh, only this time we were talking silicone.  I can’t help but think the bard would have been quite amused at the spectacle, actually.  Beyond the obvious question of what on earth Sly’d have done with the things once he’d got them – stress balls? travel pillow? – the judge decided that this kind of thing was not on and he lost that battle in the war that was their divorce.

But the Price/André matter seems to be of interest to more than the gossip-starved.  It turns out our man Peter was so in love he insisted on signing a pre-nup.  Now, it’s easy to insist on a pre-nup when you know it’s not legally binding, and I’m sure Katie can afford the £6m if the newspaper estimates of her fortune are correct.  So far so boring.  

Yet if this does lead to a divorce and is not, as some have suggested, just another publicity stunt, then Katie and Peter may actually end up setting legal precedent.  If André decides to challenge the pre-nup and go for a bigger settlement, Price may try to enforce the document and, if successful, would establish the legal validity of pre-nuptial agreements in this country.

I know a number of my lawyer friends are watching this case closely.  However much we may love to hate the prevailing celeb culture, though, this is one that could affect a great many of us, moving forward.  Who knew?

…is apparently Paris Hilton.

No, I’m not kidding.  And nor apparently is her lawyer, who should have been held in contempt for such an obviously baseless description of his client.

So busy she’s never seen a mobile phone bill, and doesn’t know who does see her mobile bills.

So busy she can’t remember what she was doing two weeks ago and simply Googles herself to see where she was.  Even though she does little more than attend parties and go on holiday.

Personally, if asked to say who the single busiest person on the planet was, I’d probably come back with a not very original answer along the lines of one of the many heads of state battling with recession, war, poverty or selling climate change initiatives to big business.  Or possibly Her Majesty, who still has a fairly punishing schedule of engagements despite being well past retirement age.  And if I was feeling flippant I might even suggest Madonna’s adoption lawyer was a better candidate than Paris Hilton for this title.

And yet, there are times when I would pick someone relatively unknown.  My mother-in-law, for example, who is in her sixties and spends much of her life attending meetings in far-flung places as an advisor to UNESCO and whose work will have a far greater long-term impact on the world than Paris Hilton’s.  

Or a friend of mine who is a stay-at-home-mum of three kids aged 4-13, one of whom is profoundly autistic.  Her time is almost entirely taken up with delivering the kids to three different schools, sorting out the housework and planning wildly varying meals to accommodate the likes and dislikes of her family.  And giving her kids the attention they need outside of school in order to flourish – and they do.

Or people who run their own companies and who have the commitment to live and breathe that business, while still managing to find some space for family and friends.  

And sometimes – like many of us, I suspect – when I’m pushing up against a deadline while simultaneously trying to sort out my son’s tea, listen to what he’s been doing at pre-school and juggle a phone call with a couple of urgent email exchanges, it feels like the single busiest person on the planet is me.  It’s all a matter of perspective.

And there’s something I can do about it at least.  Rather than privately wishing I had a babysitter, or a personal menu planner and grocery shopper, or a PA to handle correspondence and phone calls so I can get on with doing the things I can’t delegate, I should probably get on and post these wishes on the site.

But right now there’s one overriding wish I have: I wish I was only as busy as Paris Hilton…